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Calling all flight attendants: apply now for this non-existent airline


Apparently there’s a law that requires one flight attendant per 50 passengers in craft travelling in US airspace. Even if the airline doesn’t actually exist.

For an airline that supposedly doesn’t exist, a lot of people sure know about it. JANET (which some claim is an acronym for Just Another Non Existent Airline rather than Joint Air Network for Employee Transportation) even has a Wikipedia entry.  But even airlines that don’t exist still need to have cabin crew.

 

 

For those who DON’T know, JANET is a not so secret airline run by the US government that quite boringly transports people-in-the-know from a private terminal at McCarran International Airport in Las Vegas to their jobs in places like the hopefully not boring Area 51.

 

So if you’ve been itching to join the secret service but don’t want to take a bullet for the president (which, hey, given who it currently is, who can blame you) then joining the JANET cabin crew may just be up your alley. 

 

JANET is on the hunt for its next bunch of hosties. But there is a hitch. Employers AECOM want you to have ‘Top Secret Clearance’. The clearance level is listed as highly desired. But hey, according to my first employers, I was “proficient in the use of Microsoft PowerPoint”. Surely, you can fudge your resume a bit?

 

According to the US State Department, Top Secret Clearance may make you privy to US national security information and it’s not something given out willy nilly. To be granted said clearance, the government is going to be looking hard at your past, particularly as it relates to the following points:

  • Allegiance to the US.
  • Foreign influence.
  • Foreign preference.
  • Sexual behaviour.
  • Personal conduct.
  • Financial considerations.
  • Alcohol consumption.
  • Drug involvement.
  • Emotional, mental, and personality disorders.
  • Criminal conduct.
  • Security violations.
  • Outside activities.
  • Misuse of information technology systems.

 

If, unlike most Aussies who may not be eligible simply due to their behaviour over the weekend, you’re squeaky clean, a high school graduate or equivalent, and willing to take on a job that is pretty much a flight attendant then this may just be the job for you. 

 

Keep in mind though, you’ll unlikely be allowed to post pictures of post-work drinks or selfies with Area 51 aliens...

 


Written by: Gaya Avery
Published: 10 January 2018


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